In Elusive Innocence Survival Guide for the Falsely Accused
author Dean Tong frankly discusses ways that will help to most naive. He known for assisting those who have been wrongly accused of child abuse and domestic violence and directs them down a path to counter unsupported allegations. Tong not only assists parents and grandparents, but also attorneys, therapists, judges, and child protective investigators. Elusive Innocence Survival Guide for the Falsely Accused is a must read for everyone. As an internationally known forensic trial consultant his expertise has provided winning formulas in many cases that appeared to be no-win situations.
Elusive Innocence Survival Guide for the Falsely Accused Buyer Quotes
False allegations are a national disgrace
“It is estimated that allegations of domestic violence, abuse, or sexual abuse are presently made in one-third of all divorces, primarily to gain financial, material, or custodial advantages. Studies consistently show that only a small percentage of these criminal charges are justified. Thus, Dean Tong’s book “Elusive Innocence: Survival guide for the falsely accused” is an essential reference for the tens of thousands of men trapped in the quicksand of false allegations every year. The book should also be read by every legislator, attorney, judge, mental health professional, victim’s advocate, social worker, and child protective service worker dealing with these issues.
False allegations destroy lives, careers, fathers, and children with no gain to anyone except the divorce industry and its parasitic practitioners. Tong gives the background on such sicknesses as the SAID (Sexual Abuse In Divorce) syndrome, the domestic violence industry, borderline personality disorder (BPD), and how the falsely accused can defend themselves in nineteen chapters. Included are case histories, the views of attorneys and mental health professionals, case citations, where to find help, and useful tests. I found especially relevant the extensive documentation of how a man can show he is not violent and not inclined to molest children.
One unaddressed issue is how someone who has served in Marine Corps infantry, as I have, can prove themselves nonviolent when faced with such false accusations. By inference, every man who has served in a combat military organization is a “trained killer” when accused of domestic violence under current laws. But that absence is a trifling drawback to an otherwise excellent book. If you have been falsely accused this is one book you must read.”
Elusive Innocence
“Author Dean Tong was falsely accused of molesting his child by his former wife. After surviving that horror, he dedicated his career to helping other falsely accused parents cope and to exposing a system which presumes guilt, not innocence of the accused. Mr. Tong exhorts the falsely accused to fight back and provides the tools necessary to do so.
This book begins with four case studies of real people who had been falsely accused of sex abuse and recounts their personal turmoil including the pain of being cut off from seeing their children. Tong then explores the context in which false allegations arise, first examining the characteristics of the “accuser” and second examining how false allegations often arise during family breakup including divorce and custody fights. The accuser, says Tong, may be mentally disturbed and may suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder. He cautions that people who work with children must be initially skeptical of allegations arising in the context of a family breakup and counsels that we must not jump to conclusions about guilt or automatically believe the reports of children.
The book then examines the weaknesses of the child protective services system, how agencies that investigate abuse are often understaffed, undertrained and underpaid, and how Judges too often defer to the agency’s judgment. Its last chapters provide useful guidance to the falsely accused, how to fight back by retaining the right attorney and experts.
I liked this book because it exposes the weaknesses of a child protective system, which, though well meaning, nevertheless makes mistakes and victimizes the innocent. People too often believe that children always tell the truth, too few people realize that children’s memory is so suggestible and programmable by adults. People too often believe that reporters of abuse are knights in shining armor and too few people realize that adult reporters may be lying or exaggerating or acting with an agenda to harm the target of their accusations. Too few people realize that accusers may suffer from mental disorders themselves which distort their perceptions.
I liked the book because it humanizes the unfortunate people falsely accused of abuse. Society seems to focus solely upon the victim and the horror of the crime of abuse, but rarely focuses on the personal and social cost of false accusations.
This distinguishes the book from others which relate statistics or science or the psychology of abuse.
Most important, I liked the book because it offers practical, step-by-step advice on how to handle false accusations. For example, it relates how to find the right attorney, and the appropriate expert, and it educates the reader in asking the professionals the right questions. It instructs how to obtain a polygraph test, how to seek out psychological evaluations, how to deal with the child protective service agencies. It provides the reader a wealth of internet resources
and teaches the reader that knowledge is power.
The author writes in a clear, simple, direct manner free of
jargon. The book represents the best in the self-help genre.
I wish the book provided better citations to source material. For example, Tong refers to a pivotal study by the National Center for Child Abuse and Neglect, but does not give us a citation to the original study. Tong spends time discussing the Sexual Abuse Allegations in Divorce Syndrome, but does not give us any statistics which show the frequency in which sex abuse allegations arise in this context. Tong also suggests that the accuser may suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder, but does not cite any studies which establish a link between this disorder and false allegations. The problem is we don’t know the basis upon which Tong suggests that the accuser may suffer from this disorder.
The book’s value lies in its muckraking style. One hopes that policy makers in the child protective system will read this book and that the book will prevent society from jumping to conclusions about the guilt of someone accused of sexual abuse.”
Overall rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars
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Source of Buyer Reviews and Description: Amazon.com